I really love my.....

This is the title of a page on people.com that I find hilarious! It is an image slide show of celebs wearing the same outfit or shoes or carrying the same handbag twice or...wait for it.... EVEN three times! My goodness!

I would literally lose my mind if I had to carry a new handbag every day. I usually get a new purse once a year. It is a PROCESS of transferring all of the contents from the old, sad, sometimes sticky bag to the brand new one! There are consistently a few problems.
1. The new purse has a totally different storage configuration. It is usually a different size, there a new pockets or less pockets, no zipper or many zippers, deeper sections or wider sections. It takes a site plan to decide where all of your "stuff" will live in this new handbag.
2. I have to re-train myself on carrying this accessory . My newest bag has two short handles. Do I wear it on my shoulder, carry it like a bowling bag, or hang it in the crook of my elbow like all the movie stars do?
3. Inevitably I loose something. When the transfer occurs, a card or key or a kid's pacifier gets forgotten, usually never to be located. Plus, I don't discover this until paying for something or the kid is total and complete melt-down!
4. There is always a longing for the old bag! No matter how much I LOVE my new purse, I long for the old one with its familiar places where my keys hide.

If I had to switch every day, so I wouldn't be caught by the paparazzi, I would be a serious whack-a-doodle! Good thing there are no TMZ or People photogs lurking in the bushes waiting for me to drop my kid at school. The headline would have to read, "Mom carries same knock-off hand bag for 100th day in row!" (Not to mention the article containing criticism of me not showering, wearing workout clothes, and pushing a squeaky baby jogger not worth more than $25)

amazement in the ordinary

Observing my two year old watch, with admiration, the trash collector and his truck reminds me to be aware of my own biases and judgments of others. If you were introduced to man or woman for the first time and you learn that this person is a garbage collector what would your reaction be? I doubt you would be envious that they are able to drive an enormous truck all day. Would you assume the person uneducated or unmotivated? Do you inconspicuously (or so you think) inspect every inch for tattoos and dirt? Do you begrudge him or her for the money they make? You went to college and barely bring home the same amount. Would you take the time to learn more about this person? Or do you think that your judgments might interfere in your openness to allow someone to be more than what they do for a living. Kids have an uncanny knack for being amazed by the ordinary. It is refreshing, and also quite humbling.

last first time

When was the last time you did something for the first time? As adults we can't say that we do this very often. Quite honestly, most of haven't done anything new in so long we can't remember what it was that we did. Some "grown ups" continually challenge themselves and push out of their comfort zone more often than not. I applaud them! But what is astonishing is how often kids do something for the first time! Can you imagine the amount of adrenalin rushing through their little bodies ALL of the time? Constantly daring themselves to be "brave" just like we tell them. Are we at all helpful in our encouragement when we ourselves don't ever really step out on the edge and push ourselves?

Today Will went off the competition diving board into the deep end of the pool.....for the first time. This is a kid that would not get his face or ears wet in May of this year. He just decided this evening to go for it with his dad and did not falter in his determination. The board is about 3 or 4 feet off the surface of the water and is very springy! Dad went first. Not a pretty dive by any means, but impressive nonetheless to Will and Hank! Will was next. He walked to the end, waited for a countdown from Henry and me, and then bonsai! Jumped in, popped up, swam to dad, and asked to do it again. Astonishing! In the end, he was pulling off impressive cannon balls and swimming to the edge without an adult in the pool with him. (He even tried a dive, taking us completely off guard, and experienced his first belly flop. Ouch!)

On the way home, I was thinking to myself, "What a HUGE the afternoon for him!" He did something for the first time. We had no way of knowing and he will never be the same. It is such hard work being a kid. But there are such amazing payoffs. He will go to bed a very proud boy!

And now I ask myself, "What can I do for the first time?"

the soda flows downstream

My dad tells the story that no matter where he was sitting at a table, any liquid spilled would defy gravity, take nasty turns, and end up in his lap. That was during an age when kids were given drinks without lids. Why was that ever an option? Up until tonight, I had never had a drink spilled on me. I say, up until tonight. It is bizarre to say it, but it could not have made me happier.

Why you ask? The unfortunate incident brought out the best in Will. As he picked up the ketchup he accidentally knocked over my diet coke. My plate was already cleared, so it was an unobstructed path to my lap! It happened so fast and I was truly surprised. William instantly jumped from his chair and said, "Mommy, I am so sorry. I didn't do it on purpose. Are you ok?" HELLO? Love this kid. Could all of my hard work be kind of paying off? He was so darn sweet he even asked the waitress if he could help her clean it up. Seriously? I knew there was a kind-hearted young man lurking in there somewhere! Hey, I will take damp, sticky jeans any day of the week, if I can witness will.i.am showing compassion for others.

the baby proof

I am mothering in an age of protection. This is something I cannot escape, and I am surrounded by suggestions, guidelines, rules and laws regarding such protection. Always put baby on his back to sleep. Don't put anything in the crib with him. Never turn your back while baby is on the changing table. Backward facing until age one and 20 lbs. Front facing in car seat until 30 lbs and 38". Booster seat in the back seat until he gets his driver's license. No bike, scooter, or push car without helmet. Locks on the cabinets, doors, toilet seat. Gates on stairs. Seriously, right? I have been conditioned to be fearful of the worst happening. I hear of horrible accidents to children and feel such empathy for the family. I know that it could easily be us. Thankfully, so far, it has not been.

I was a rebel without a cause. When we moved into our home 2 summers ago, I did not baby proof. Gasp! No gates, no locks on cabinets or toilets, and no bumpers on BIG brick fireplace hearths. (I did cover our outlets because Henry- at age five months-was already "experimenting" with conductors.) All and all, it was a great decision. My boys are fine. Henry learned to navigate stairs like a champ at 6 months and my house remained unscathed from screw holes and annoying locks! There have been hard lessons learned (picture illustrates such event. Toddler vs. brick), but I would like to say they will be better for it.

I do acknowledge the need for child protection. Our children do ride safer in cars and on their bikes than we did. But on the other hand, this uber-protection extends beyond just physical protection from bodily harm. I fear my boys may not have similar personal experiences that I once had as a kid. For example I was allowed to play outside with my friends until sundown. The rule was you had to be in for lunch and dinner. At the end of the day you had to be in when the street lights came on. We were distinctly aware that no one should have to come looking for you and it was up to you to pay close attention. There were consequences if you were late and we knew it! I sincerely believe it help build independence and responsibility that has served me well in my life. Will my kids have that? We are lucky to live in fantastic niche in the world that may afford our kids this luxury. However, will I be able to let my boys "go" on their own. I hope so. But there is this little quiet voice that repeats, "What if?" What if?

the first thomas boy in my life

Aaron and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary this week. It is mind-boggling to think he and I have been together for over 13 years. As we navigate our way through parenthood together, I am determined to remain a couple in love. This is no easy task, but instead a choice made everyday. Don't get me wrong...every day is not love and roses in the Thomas household! I don't have expectations that could only be achieved if we lived in a romance novel. I am talking about simple affection, respect, communication, and fun. (We could all use a little more fun in our relationships!) I am looking forward to another fun-filled year with my great husband!

knowing what is possible

I truly love talking to women who have children that are older than mine, specifically older boys. One such friend gave me a great tip, "only try to do what is honestly possible". She used the example of grocery shopping. If you can't make it through a trip to the store (no matter the length) without your kids losing, you can't go with them. You have to go late at night, trade kids with a friend, or get a sitter! The most important thing is knowing what is possible. Children don't like shopping with their moms for hours, they don't like running boring errands, they don't like visiting friends' homes who don't have toys, they don't behave at meals. If I have to (or want t0) do something I know will trigger my boys to become little devils, I now rethink how it can be done. Thank goodness for GREAT a babysitter whom my boys love, Amazon Fresh, and a supportive husband. I am slowly learning what is possible and accepting it for what it is!